According to Fanelli, similarity to a person is another important factor in attraction. We like people who are similar to ourselves. It’s that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling you get when, the more you talk with someone, the more you find out you have in common.
“These matches may be conscious, for example two athletes, or people with similar extracurricular interests, or unconscious, like finding out you enjoy the same music,” Fanelli says.
If you’re meeting him for the first time, use the “chameleon effect” from Love Signals: mirroring movements and gestures shows you’re interested. In one study from The Journal of Nonhuman Behavior, researchers found that it’s not just mimicking of movements that indicate interest, but also timing. If he moves from slouching to sitting up straight, a few seconds later do the same.
How to make it work:
To use mimicking, take a sip of your drink when he does, copy the way his hands are resting on the table, or pick up on his words or phrases and repeat them later in the conversation. Remember the timing aspect as well: try to copy his movements sooner rather than later, or it won’t come across as “synchronized.” But don’t make it too obvious!
Similarity, in terms of personality, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be mirror images of each other (in fact that might get a little boring). The important thing here is being open to each other’s interests. If he likes hockey, watch a game with him at least once or twice. If he’s a country music guy, and you can’t get enough hip-hop, well, at least you can both appreciate a strong love for music.