Dec 18, 2018

Funny Birthday Wishes-Cards for Facebook

Funny Birthday Wishes & Messages

Welcome to our collection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.

Funny Birthday Wishes

ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Don’t be depressed about getting old. It sure beats the alternative. Happy birthday!


Happy birthday to the ugliest fart I’ve known. 
Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.” 
You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Funny Birthday Wishes

Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes! 
Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world. 
Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
It’s normal to ponder your life’s purpose and to have a personal crisis on your birthday. At least you get to be normal one day out of the year. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room! 
Nobody really cares about clapping and singing the happy birthday song, what everyone really has their eyes on, is the cake. 
Yesterday is past, tomorrow is not known, and present… I didn’t get one. 
Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Funny Birthday Wishes

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Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you. 
It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile. 
Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
I got you a stress ball as your present. With all the tension of growing old you know.

I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade. 
Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world. 
Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons. 
I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Happy, happy birthday! I hope you enjoy those senior citizen discounts. You truly do deserve them.

On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. Really, it’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday! 
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get. 
Blow out the goddamn candles and give us the cake! Global warming is increasing way too fast. 
I took my day off from the office today, so you and I can have a nice chat over your retirement plans. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
The only thing that comes without effort or hard work is old age.

Blowing out those candles and wishing to get rich over night? Keep blowing! Cause that shit doesn’t work. 
With this another year of passing, I hope you start acting your age and not your shoe size. 
You’re not 45. You’re 20 with 25 years of experience. 
I’ve never heard of Superheroes wanting any gifts, but I have heard that they throw the greatest parties. 
I’ve been your best friend through thick and thin… and it’s only fair that I get to kick you the most. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Thanks for always being older than me. Happy birthday buddy.

This birthday party won’t even be happening if your parents knew your actual marks. So get me the biggest piece of cake, half your gifts, and some money, please. 
Happy birthday… blah, blah and blah… CHEERS! Birthday wishes! 
If you really want to look young and thin and pretty on your birthday call everyone’s grand moms and grand dads and play chess and poker. 
Happy Birthday! Isn’t it? Wait, let me just confirm it on Facebook. 
hope that your birthday is the best it can possibly be for someone who can barely function in society. 
Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took. 
Happy birthday, babe! We’re such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and I’m just too darn lazy to plan anything. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Only call me for the after party with all the alcohol and chicken.

Happy birthday to someone we’ll never have to say “died too young”. 
Wishing you a very happy birthday. You don’t look a day over whatever age you were just a few years ago. 
Happy birthday! Let’s go see Jurassic World. It’ll make you feel less like a dinosaur. 
I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message. 
Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Funny Birthday Wishes-

It is just a package deal! You get older and wiser. Nope, you can’t have just the latter! It doesn’t work that way. Happy Birthday! 
Here’s to another year of endless fights, prank games, sneaking out of homes and keeping each other almost sane. Have a good one bud. 
With another year gone, don’t start assuming you’re an adult now. 
Did you know you make the best pasta in the world? Hint: pasta brunch for your birthday party! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Funny Birthday Wishes-

I wanted to give you a dog for your birthday, but then my mom said you’re way too clumsy to be handling a dog. Until next, happy birthday! 
Today I have gathered the courage to stand in front of you, look into your eyes, hold your hand and tell you… that I am only here for the cake. 
Candles on the cake don’t determine your age. So save the wax, and bake more cake. 
Wearing a tiara over your head and giving everyone birthday caps won’t be making you any younger. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Happy birthday! We’re so glad we can count you among the living for another year.

Everyone should buy two cakes on their birthdays as one can be smeared over the face with absolutely no regrets. 
Happy birthday to someone who is so old and lonely, they could be the subject of a spooky Halloween ghost story. 
Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, handicapped stalls become a necessity and not just a spacious place to do your business. 
I hope that you live to be so old, your family members talk about you like you’re not even there. Happy birthday! 
Hey – don’t stress about getting older. You’re still young enough to be a professional curler, and that’s saying something. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! I would have bought you a present, but I didn’t think you wanted me to take money out of the alcohol budget. 
Sending birthday wishes to someone who can still pass for a non-embarrassing age. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.

May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday to someone I truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis. 
Happy birthday to someone I hope realizes is way too old to go snowboarding or surfing. 
Don’t trouble your lovely mother to host a grand party at home. Just get us drunk, and we all go home happy! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Wishing you another great year with newer wrinkles and greyer hairs.

Happy Birthday! No, I did not forget. And it’s not that late. Technically, it still is your birthday in America. 
Don’t they say love is all you need? So I didn’t get a present but double the love. Happy birthday. 
I never understood the point of taking a photo when there’s cream stuck in hair; icing slathered all over the face cause that’s when you’re looking the ugliest. Birthday wishes! 
Happy birthday! You’re not old obviously. But if you were my cereal I’d check the expiry date before consuming it. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Let’s face it; this is probably the only day in the year you look fine. Many more to come.

Do you know why older people wear a cardigan with everything? Don’t worry you’re one year close to finding out. Happy birthday you old birdie. 
Happiness is like uprooting of your nail, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the pain. Just like what you’ll feel today. Happy birthday! 
Time and tide wait for none, but the time can stand still for a woman of your age. 
Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That’s me. And to you a very happy birthday. 
Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That’s me. And to you a very happy birthday. 
Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Only if discovery showed animals celebrating their birthdays… Yes! You’d be on television!

Congratulations! You’re now so old, you’ll need performance-enhancing drugs just to ride a stationary bike. Happy birthday! 
Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have sent out birthday wishes on MySpace. 
Happy birthday to someone who is almost old enough to die from the flu. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have had a Blockbuster card.

Here’s to a special birthday! May you get so intoxicated, you forget how old you’re getting. 
I hope your birthday is at least half as exciting as you portray it on Facebook and Instagram. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! You’ve now reached an age where it’s no longer appropriate to claim you’re 29. 
Happy birthday to the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating. 
Happy birthday and congratulations on becoming that “old, weird” person at summer music festivals. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Happy birthday and my heartfelt condolences to you for aging up!

It’s your birthday – let’s over-celebrate! 
Happy birthday, girl. I remember a time when you weren’t so disturbingly old. 
Happy birthday to you – and your newest chin. 
Happy birthday! I’m just here for some cake. 
Hey there! Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk. 
Birthdays are nothing more than nature’s way of telling us to sit down and eat more cake! I’m so glad that today is your birthday, and I can eat – I mean, share – your cake. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Just know you’re getting old when you need an umbrella in the rains

Happy birthday dude. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun. 
Good luck getting a cake big enough to fit all those candles! Happy birthday buddy. 
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. May you have the energy and excitement of a 2-year-old but not the amount of their teeth. 
Happy birthday! May you live long enough to see Amazon delivering on the moon. 
Happy Birthday, son! Your existence taught me the valuable lesson of protection of one’s assets. 
Your birthday gives me one more chance to gift you stuff that I need. Happy Birthday dear brother! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
With today happening you should get your birth certificate verified as it says expired.

Today, it’s important to smile and laugh as much as you can. You don’t know how much longer you’ll have teeth! Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! I wish you many more candles, and for a cake that’s big enough to fit them all.” 
You’re so special, your birthday should be a national holiday. I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! Never let anyone tell you that you’re old – especially if you can actually hear them say it without even having to read their lips. 
Happy birthday! Today, we add another candle to your cake, and your doctor will add another prescription to your arsenal of medication. 
I try to give people birthday cards that match their age. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my hands on a stone tablet or some ancient papyrus. This modern greeting will have to do. Happy birthday! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
I’m just glad that we could become as close friends as you inviting me to your birthday party!

On your birthday, I want you to remember that it’s not this day that makes you old; it’s the 364 other days in the year. Happy birthday! 
Just this morning I was wishing that you were one year older today. Look at that – my wish came true! Happy birthday! 
On your birthday, I wish you enough air to blow out all of your candles. Happy birthday! 
Happy birthday! Let’s make a deal – I’ll keep the presents, and you keep the age and cake. Come on! It’s a good deal. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
You are so old that there is a bonfire on your cake. But happy birthday!

Happy birthday to a person that is smart, funny, witty, attractive and reminds me a lot of myself. 
You know you’re getting old when the only thing you want on your birthday is not to be reminded of it. Happy birthday! 
May you get everything that you wish for, and your wife knows nothing about it too! Happy Birthday! 
So where do you plan to spend your birthday at? The dentist’s place or at the chiropractor’s? Happy Birthday, dear! 
Why is it called a birthday? It’s not like you were being born throughout the day. I mean, your mom could have been in labor for a long time, but that doesn’t count as your birthday right. They could have named it Labour day and celebrated it. Oh, but that would have been confusing. Not like most people know what Labour Day is about. Oh, what was I talking about? Happy Birthday! 
Happy Birthday to the 18-year-old with 32 years of working experience. 
So, if you could just get the cake, food and the booze, I can get rest of the party home. Happy birthday, bestie! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday

Happy 15th anniversary of your 18th birthday (If the person is 33 years old). 
H’case you feel lonely, neglected, unloved or simply forgotten, they say you should just take a loan and miss few payments. Or better, just change your birthday to tomorrow on Facebook! 
Happy ‘two minutes of intense awkwardness when people sing around, and you have a hold on to that smile all that while! 
The worst thing about your birthday is that everybody knows we grew up together and it reveals my age too. But still, happy birthday to my all-time bestie. 
I might not remember where I placed the car keys at our age, but I surely remember your birthday! Have a great birthday. 
Happy ‘sitting on your Facebook and typing a thousand thanks to people you don’t know’ day! 
You were born at the expense of 3899999 sperms. But Hey! It’s your birthday! 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
You are just getting younger in reverse! Happy birthday!

What goes up, comes down. Well, except your age, right? Happy birthday dude. 
Happy birthday dude, hope your mustache grows at least this year. 
Happy 18th! Here’s to all the legal activities you will indulge in now and still be judged! 
Birthdays: The one time in the year when you have your name on something you didn’t buy yourself. Happy Birthday! 
Happy Birthday to you! I wish you get everything in life as easy as you got fat. 
I got you a killer gift offering a facial which you can avail when your cake comes out. 
Inside every old person, there’s a child thinking where the time went. 
Living as an old man is better than not living at all right? Happy birthday! 
Here’s wishing you a hundred wall posts and tweets from people you never talk to! Happy Birthday! 
You’re not 40. You’ve only lived twenty years twice. 
ollection of funny birthday wishes that you can use to wish your friends, colleagues or family on Facebook or in person.
Happy birthday to you and that newborn wrinkle on your cheeks.

I know this is early, but since I haven’t gotten an invitation, I thought of letting you know that none of us are planning any surprise party. 
Happy Birthday best friend. Now let’s go to the corner and bitch about people who didn’t wish you today. 
If white is not your favorite hair color, you might have some problems with the increasing age. 
I wanted to post the longest fanciest birthday message on Facebook for you today, but I had typers block.
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